I hear you on the chance thing... It sucks (a LOT) to be betrayed... i know a thing or two about this. But I once heard this quote that said something to the effect of, "Punishing your current partner for the ill deeds of a past partner is like bleeding all over the person who DIDN"T cut you." I'm probably butchering the phrase, but the intent is to (try) and approach each new situation with a fresh slate--harder to do in practice than in theory, because how can we NOT let past experiences dictate future performance? But a worthwhile goal.

And yeah I think with CZ guy, one was never going to be enough because he just didn't feel enough. It wasn't about you; you just got caught in the situation. And if it's not women, it's overspending, or overindulging in drink or drugs or... insert whatever vice here.

I truly hope you find your diamond (or lab-created diamond, or amethyst or topaz...whatever it is you're looking for). But in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the stories you post!