I’ve been thinking about that too, as I’ve been in a similar boat with the majority of my friendships. I’m really trying to just let go and appreciate that all the one sided effort is in the past, rather than hold on to the hurt and anger that lingers inside me…and it’s a work in process. When one of these people reaches out, I’m not particularly interested in responding in a timely manner and perhaps this will change in the future as I make more peace with the past.

A psychologist once told me that we have to accept people for who they are—and the love they’re able to give us—without trying to change them. (Well, she said that continuing to go to the hardware store and getting mad that they don’t have bread for me is futile, but that’s exactly where I should go if I need a ladder or a hammer. I wonder now if I became a pastry chef so I could make my own damn bread. Lol).

I think for both you and me, if we are able to be at peace with the nails these old friends have (I’m deliberately avoiding any analogies involving getting screwed…) then the more power to us.

I’m not sure I’m there yet, but maybe eventually.