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Who Are You, Really?
Does your role in life define you?
How do you answer the question, “Who are you?”
Does what you do make up who you are?
Most of my male friends answer this question first with their professional title, followed by their preferred hobbies. Far down the list, they might include the roles they play. I asked some friends this challenging question (in a totally unscientific study) to see how they would respond. When I posed the question, my friend Kris replied succinctly, “I’m an engineer and rock climber.” Maxwell told me his profession first—music teacher—followed by his hobbies (baking, dancing, playing music) and a quirky personality trait.
Unsurprisingly—and perhaps due to cultural conditioning—my female friends list the roles they inhabit in others’ lives much higher on the list. For example, my boyfriend’s sister responded with, “Mother, wife, scatterbrain… oh, and also Ed Tech!” My dear friend Carli (who is not married nor a parent) listed her hobbies first, followed by her job.
It seems we tend to answer this question according to how we (think we) derive value from society’s/culture’s definitions: Men are conditioned to provide and impress so they list professional titles and fascinating hobbies first. Women are conditioned to nurture and take care of others and often list…
